


If we were stars

by galactic_max



Category: 1917 (Movie 2019), Diary of a Wimpy Kid Series - Jeff Kinney
Genre: Abandonment, Abortion, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Barely Legal, Bondage, Child Abandonment, Child eating, Cult, Daddy Issues, Daddy Kink, Deal With the Devil, Eating children, Fluff, Forced Abortion, M/M, NSFW, Porn, Porn With Plot, Porn Without Plot, Smut, Sugar Daddy, Tentacle Dick, Tentacle Rape, Tentacle Sex, Tentacles, Time Travel, anna x blake x rodrick x reader, baby cult, children for breakfast, justin bieber cult, master - Freeform, shrek shows up at some point, they eat babies, they fuck animals, they join a cult, they pull a shane dawson and fuck a cat, they use a carrot as a dildo bc DIY
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:35:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25225432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galactic_max/pseuds/galactic_max
Summary: rodrick and blake are rivals at school bc blake is better at being gay than rodrick is. they fight constantly until one day they find out they both have a taste for babies and they bond over that. and then they fall in love and they fuck a lot.
Relationships: rodrick/blake
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13





	If we were stars

**Author's Note:**

> for anna <3

Rodrick and Blake do not like each other, thats a fact.

They'be veen rivals since freshman yier when they started competing for who exhibited the most h0mmozexual behavior. They constantli try to be gayer and gayer becausze we all know thats the most important thing in life, being gay and doing crime and lookcing at tentacle porn. Rdorick reallyyyyyy likes tentacle shit. Blake not so much but he does eat tentacles from time to time. 

One day when Blake is slithering thru the hallwais he bumps into Rodrick. "watch where you're going you stupid ass hoe!!", Blake growls. Rodrick flushes and turns the shade of pepperoni and tomato. He looks like he's paniking big time (rush xD), Blake looks down and realizes why. Rodirck has dropped his tuperwer on the floor and it opned, revealing its contents. Baby hands, baby feet, and eyes. "I- I- omg >.< I can explain >.<" Rodrick stutters (he can be such a bill xDDD) "Rodrick,,, do you eat babies?" Blake questions him while he stares at his beautiful poop brown colored eyes. "I- I- maybe... its non of ur business pendejo!!" Rodrick yells and starts to turn away. "No wait Rodirkc wait!!" Blake calls back at him. "I eat babies too!" Blake tells him.

He regretted it the moment he sayd it.

"You- you do?" Rodrick asks. Fuck it, there is no going back from this. "Um yes. And um, I haven't been able to obtain any baby feet in a while... do you >.< mind if I >.< I dunno >.< grabbed one of urs?? >.<" There, he said it. The words hanged in the air. The tension was thick. "Yeah... we can share."

And thats how Rodrick and Blakes rivalry turned into more of rivals with benefits >.<

**Author's Note:**

> this is obviously a joke don’t come for me quarantine boredom is really getting me
> 
> anyways if there are any phannies or destiel shippers here follow my twitter @flowerphjl 😌


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